This Week's Winner: The Napoleon of Narcissism Claims Damages of $100 Million

I probably shouldn't be writing this, since Donald Trump--AKA "The Donald," AKA the litigious lecher, AKA the sue-happy hedonist--has been known to enjoin the rest of us "little people" from committing all manner of infractions against him, real or imagined. And it is entirely within the realm of the possible that such an egotistical imperator actually pays people to go online and hunt up random acts of libel against the him. We are, after all, talking about the guy who, without so much as a smirk of irony, tried to copyright the phrase, "you're fired," so that every time it was uttered, someone would have to pay him a royalty.

So how has the Emperor of Entreaty encountered the wrath of your humble host? In case you missed it in the big lead-up to this paragraph, Trump has sicked his attorneys on the city of Rancho Palos Verdes, charging that a city with an annual budget of $20 million managed to do upwards of $100 million in damages. The Combover King claims (with a completely straight face) that the city has violated his civil rights: "The town does everything possible to stymie everything I do."

Sounds more like a pre-pubescent temper-tantrum to me.

"Everything [he] does," turns out to be demanding the city rename a street after him, planting a row of tall ficus trees that blocked resident's view and suing the school district (which he lost) over some land he leases from them on his golf course.

What a pain.

Trump's response? "We have nothing but trouble with this town. . . . We've been treated very unfairly, very badly and we've been looking forward to this day for years. And we think we are going to win a lot of money."

I'm sure he'll need it. Trump went bankrupt in the 1990s, due, no doubt, to his personal and business largess. In 2004, Trump Hotels and Casinos sought Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, and Trump Tower Tampa filed for chapter 11 in July of this year. For anyone that's followed the career of this Napoleonic narssicist, you're already aware that he has a habit of biting off more than he can chew, and not just in terms of debt: he played legal chicken with Merv Griffin and lost, he's cheated on both wives, tried unsuccessfully to copyright a phrase he could have never thought up on his own and even lost his lawsuit with the school district in Rancho Palos Verdes. His only success in life appears to be as a reality TV show host.

Here's to Cap'n Combover and the dreadful damage wrought upon his sorry civil rights: may he meet yet another Waterloo in Rancho Palos Verdes.